Affair Proof Your Marriage

I would be willing to bet that the majority of normal married people would prefer their spouse to remain faithful. Many times in life our dialogue goes something like this.
"We'll just have a perfect marriage and neither of us will have an affair. We'll do everything right."
"And how exactly will that work?"
"We'll just do things right!"

Found this picture on google and thought it went well with the topic

And that is about the extent of their plan for affair proofing their marriage. It's not as simple as that. Just saying you will do everything right and perfectly doesn't mean you actually will. It takes conscious effort!

In class this last week we had to read the article, Infidelity: Protecting Our Marriages. We learned about the 4 different types of infidelity. Most often when we think of a spouse having an affair it means that they are having sex with someone other than their spouse. But there are 3 more, different types of infidelity! They are Fantasy, Visual, and Romantic.

The best ways to prevent infidelity are
1: Being on Guard
2: Being Fiercely Loyal

Being on guard consists of building wise walls to clearly define your marriage boundaries, and to protect them.
Wise Walls
• Resist the desire to rescue an unhappy soul who pours their heart out to you.
• Don’t share the most painful things of your soul with an attractive alternative. This develops deep levels of intimacy.
• If a conversation makes light of marriage, respond with something positive about your own marriage.
• Discuss marital issues with your spouse. Work on the problems at home. If you do need to talk to someone else about your marriage, be sure they are a friend of the marriage.
• Don’t have lunch or take work breaks with same person all the time.
• When you travel with a co-worker, meet in the public rooms, not in a room with a
bed.
• If an old boyfriend or girlfriend is going to be at a class reunion, make sure you bring your spouse along.
• If you value your marriage, don’t do lunch alone with an old flame.
• Don’t try to be cute or “flirty” with anyone other than your spouse.
• Do not allow your heart to dwell on anyone.

The second one is being fiercely loyal. Many couples just assume that if they love each other enough than their relationship is immune to affairs. But it is easy for relationships with others to develop in an inappropriate manner. This section of the article focused a lot on controlling your thoughts and not being alone with a member of the opposite sex. The awkwardness of telling a coworker that you need to drive separately will not hold a candle to the pain that it could cause down the road to you and your spouse. Be fiercely loyal and ALWAYS put your spouse first.