Marriage after that first baby is born.

 In class this week we talked about different scenarios that can happen when you have that first baby.

Scenario 1

 This is a very common scenario that is seen. Marital satisfaction can decrease with the birth of each child, and then increase when each child leaves the home. A lot of divorces happen at the birth of the first or second child.

Scenario 2

 This is probably the most dangerous of all the possibilities.  We see divorces happen after the birth of one of the children, but in this situation you may see divorce happen as the children leave the nest.

Scenario 3

This is the ideal scenario, which is pretty self explanatory. Some ways to have your life be more like scenario 3 are planning ahead. Involve the father in prenatal checkups and experiences. Talk about it being "our" baby. Engage the daddy to be in kicks and other bonding opportunities. Assure your husband that he takes precedence over others during this event. And make sure your words match your actions. Do not make this a mother-daughter event. And don't let things like doulas or midwives interfere with this experience.

Part of planning early is making a game plan for what will happen after the baby is born. Figure out when daddy will help with feedings and diaper changes. Also get creative in ways for the new father to bond with the baby.

Be attentive to your needs to. Make sure you are getting your needs met as best as possible. And both should attentive to the other's needs.